My friend Reina sent me a TikTok the other day spoofing how each generation reacts to being asked to stay late at work. The Gen-X woman says she’s too busy with her kids. The Gen-Z woman basically laughs in the manager’s face. And the Boomer doesn’t even acknowledge the request, because she left exactly at 5 PM. The Millennial, on the other hand, graciously accepts the request, claiming she’ll do whatever the manager needs. She then calls her mom and cries about how she’s been taken advantage by her boss…again.
Now, was this some Gen-Z chick shit posting to TikTok to drag Millennials, which seems to be the trend du jour on social media? Probably. But it actually highlighted a growing problem I’ve sensed among my friends and colleagues who fall squarely within the “Millennial” identification. (Which, as Franchesca Ramsey correctly says, covers way too large of an age range.)
On the whole, Millennials were raised by Boomer parents who came of age during the heyday of capitalism. They taught us to approach employment the way they did: Work hard, keep your head down, put in the extra time, and you’ll get ahead. And while I’m sure that worked for them, somewhere along the line, that concept got twisted. Employers started expecting more and more and more. Putting in the “extra” time became standard, and the only way to “get ahead” was to change companies to get a raise. Throw in a pandemic and the fear of a recession which is causing companies to lighten their staff without lightening the load of their remaining employees, and is it any wonder the majority of us are feeling burnt out, disillusioned, and ready to say fuck it to the entire system?
Gen-Z, on the other hand, has somehow learned from our mistakes and figured out how to draw clear boundaries around work. They say no and they stick to it. They know when enough is enough.
In her book Rising Strong, Brené Brown writes about how the happiest, most successful people are those who have strong, well-formed boundaries. It allows you to self-protect so that other people and other situations aren’t leaching energy from you. I’ve been realizing lately that, for most of my life, I’ve had the opposite of strong boundaries. So I’m attempting to change that.
Two and a half years into my 30s, it’s finally clear to me that there is more to life than work, and that it’s important to find things outside of your day job that bring you joy. It’s also important to walk away from situations that attempt to cross your boundaries, or that make you feel guilty for having them in the first place. I’m doing my best to fill out my life outside of my 9-5 grind. There is more to life than work. Hustle culture is toxic. There are so many more gorgeous things for us to find happiness in.
That includes this eggplant recipe, that I made on a Wednesday instead of staying online late to finish up some work that was absolutely able to wait until the next day. (We’re in the dying days of summer, so it’s your last chance to make all of these yummy eggplant dishes while it’s still in season.)
This recipe is called eggplant parmigiana, but it’s not the breaded version you’re used to. You fry the eggplant in the morning without any breading, and then leave it to drain for the day to get rid of the extra oil. Then you layer it with tomato sauce, basil, and a little parmesan cheese, bake it in the oven, and then let it sit for 20 minutes. You’ll be rewarded with deliciously layered, custard-like eggplant that tastes great spread over toast, piled on polenta, or just on its own.
It’s a recipe that, through my experience this week, became a metaphor for my boundaries. And I ate it alone at my kitchen table with a glass of wine, because feeding myself was the most important thing I had to do that day. And work? That could wait till tomorrow.
Here’s what’s cooking
Eggplant “Parmigiana”
INGREDIENTS
3 medium eggplants
3 cups of tomato sauce
3 cups mozzarella
1 cup grated parmesan
1 cup basil leaves, packed
Olive oil
INSTRUCTIONS
Peel eggplant and cut into 1/2 inch rounds.
Heat a healthy layer of olive oil in a skillet until shimmering. Working in batches, fry your eggplant until golden brown on each side. Place in colander with paper towels between the layers to drain for at least 3 hours. (Although I like to give them closer to 5-6 hours to fully drain.)
When you’re ready to cook, preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Spoon a thin layer of sauce into the oven-safe pan or casserole dish you’re cooking in. Place one layer of eggplant down, keeping in mind that it’s okay if the eggplant pieces overlap. Sprinkle mozzarella on top, and then add another thin layer of sauce over the mozzarella. Top with torn pieces of basil.
Repeat the above step in the following order until you reach a top layer: eggplant, mozzarella, sauce, basil. Your last layer should be eggplant with nothing on it.
Top the final layer of eggplant with remaining sauce, and then cover the sauce with your parmesan cheese.
Bake in the oven for 1/2 hour or until bubbly. I like to toss it under the broiler for 2-3 minutes, too, in order to get the top layer nice and golden brown.
If you don’t mind a saucy eggplant parm that doesn’t hold its shape, you can serve immediately from the oven. But I like to let it sit for about 20 minutes before serving in order to help the layers hold together a little easier. Serve with some crusty bread and a nice green salad.
xx MDR